Buster Has Some Things To Say And He Is NOT Crying

Okay! OKAY! Everyone wants a piece of Buster Blankenship all of a sudden and -- and that is FINE! That is absolutely fine! Buster can handle this! He is handling it RIGHT NOW! ...Momma, please do not watch this part.

Rulebreaking Ruth -- you called me a loser! You said it right there! And you were ALMOST done saying it too, which means somewhere inside you, you knew you were making a mistake! I have charted every inch of my backyard twice and I know where the property lines are, Ruth, and you just crossed one! You want respect? So do I! We could have been FRIENDS! I had a juice box saved for you and everything... it was apple, it was GOOD apple, and now I am drinking it alone!

Supernatural Spooky Boy -- you said I would pee myself in fright! BUSTER BLANKENSHIP DOES NOT -- okay he did, once, but the arena lights were very sudden and the man with the stripes startled him and it was a very small amount! You made an elephant disappear and that is genuinely impressive and I am scared of you and I am NOT scared of you and... please do not make me disappear. Please.

Stinky -- you said Momma stinks! You said that about MOMMA! I cannot -- I do not -- she does NOT, she smells like lavender and mild disapproval, and you are going to feel very bad about this when I am done with you in the squared place, which will be SOON, which is a PROMISE, and I am sorry I yelled, I am sorry I apologized, please disregard all of this.

Thinky -- you said you KNOW things, and what you know is an absolute lie about me and a rat and I will not even repeat the specifics because Momma could be reading this and she would take away my model airplane privileges for a MONTH! You are not wise! A wise person would not have said that! My Eastern Meadowlark has more wisdom in its LEFT FOOT than you have in your entire brain, and I know bird feet, Thinky, I KNOW them!

Cruiserweight Chris, you said you will beat ANYONE, which apparently includes me, and I respect the confidence, I really do, because confidence is something I am working on, Dr. Pemberton says so, but you are going to CRUISE right into the worst Tuesday of your entire life! Death Match Dave -- you are injured and I feel genuinely terrible about that, I do, I made Momma's get-well soup recipe and I was going to send it but she said the postage was too expensive and she is probably right, but when you come back I will be right here, and I hope your recovery is comfortable, and also please do not obliterate me, I have so many model planes left to build and they are almost done and it would be a real shame if I couldn't see them finished, you know?

Dinky -- you said you would squash Buster Blankenship, and Dinky, I believe you, I believe every single syllable of that, and I need you to know that Buster Blankenship is READY -- he is not ready -- he is going to stand very still and think about the Big Dipper until the fear goes away, which sometimes takes a while, but he WILL be ready eventually, and Triple Boobie, you said you were not going to mention me and then you mentioned me, and I see you, and I appreciate the restraint, honestly, that was almost kind, and kindness matters to Buster, it really does, but do not think for one second that kind means safe.

Momma raised a lot of things -- doubt, mostly -- but she did not raise a quitter.